Is ADHD Tearing Your Marriage Apart?
You don’t have to stay stuck. A single, concentrated two-hour session can help you understand what’s happening — and put you on the path back toward each other.
ADHD has its own way of straining relationships
You started your life together with lots of love and high hopes, right?
But then things went wrong.
Disappointments and emotional disconnects piled one on top of the other.
Life’s pressures, particularly as children entered the picture, kept building until the good feelings between you come further and further apart and the bad ones closer and closer together.
“I can never rely on you!”
“I can never do anything right or good enough for you!”
You know you still have something good, a relationship worth saving.
But you can’t stop getting pulled into these spirals of highly negative interactions that leave both of you feeling bruised, sore and hopeless.
ADHD isn’t a simple problem, and it can’t be solved by “just trying harder.”
It’s a processing disorder that profoundly affects practically everything in a person’s life — including their relationships.
Simply understanding the deeper ways it impacts your relationship can be half the battle.
What this Consult Is
- A short pre-assessment you each complete separately
- A two-hour consultation by Zoom, both of you together
- A video recording of the session, plus written recommendations you keep
In two hours, Larry can tell you how ADHD is affecting the everyday, moment-to-moment ways you relate to your life and relationship, and the dysfunctional relationship patterns the two of you fall into without meaning to or even wanting to. You will get specific suggestions on how to break your patterns, and what you can do to effectively address the specific difficulties that send you or your spouse into the “red zone” – like the forgotten promises and commitments, the mental overload, or the overwhelm that turns into paralysis and withdrawal.
This is not ongoing couples therapy and it is not a diagnostic evaluation. It’s one focused session with something concrete to take away.
The Right Fit
ADHD is already acknowledged and preferably being treated with medication.
Both partners are genuinely willing and motivated to look at their own contributions to the patterns pulling them apart.
Not the Right Fit
One partner has already decided to leave the relationship, isn’t truly willing to be there, or refuses to participate.
Alcohol or chemical dependence is a major factor.
A Helpful Addition
This session can also complement ongoing couples therapy that’s working for you — offering extra guidance for the ADHD component of your relationship challenges.
Why Larry
Larry has ADHD. He knows it from the inside — the promises made in good faith and then forgotten, the systems that work for three weeks, the exhaustion and shame of trying hard and still falling short at things others find easy.
He understands how the “glitches” in the ADHD brain can cause the irrational, seemingly inexplicable reactions and behaviors that finally make a partner say, “You really don’t care about me.”
He also intimately knows the pain, anger, loneliness, and exhaustion of the non‑ADHD spouse.
He should— he’s been married forty‑five years (and counting) to psychologist and fellow author Helene Brenner.
For the first fifteen years, neither of them knew adult ADHD even existed, much less that it was affecting their marriage. But they made it anyway, through the raising of two children and occasionally harrowing ups and downs.
Now for the professional creds: He’s a certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist — the approach proven most effective for healing relationships and restoring loving bonds that have become frayed or broken. He has combined his decades of insight into adult ADHD with the EFT model — a pairing almost no one else offers.
He’s written about ADHD and marriage for Attention! Magazine and presented his workshop “‘You Just Don’t Care!’ ‘Yes I Do!’” at annual international CHADD/ADDA conferences. His videos on what he calls “hidden” adult ADHD — the kind often discovered only after a person becomes a parent — have been viewed more than 90,000 times.
Larry passionately believes that you can express all your feelings — not just the good ones — to your partner in ways that draw you closer, not push you apart. He believes if two people are really willing to break the mold and go for it, they can build something better than your average, ordinary, I-guess-this-is-as-good-as-it-gets marriage. They can have a great marriage — one that keeps growing closer and stronger for decades.
Fee and Format
$595 — Includes a two‑hour session, individual pre‑assessments, specific written recommendations, and your video recording.
This consultation is designed to stand on its own. Most couples take what they gain here and use it to make real changes on their own.
But if it feels right to all of us, we might discuss the possibility of having one or a few follow‑up sessions, spaced possibly monthly or every other month, to help you stay focused on your progress.